Maybe the days we had are gone
by toolostforyou
Summary: Will/Mac, set a few months after the season 1 finale. Will finds out about Mac's scar


Mackenzie knew better than to take a sip before checking the plastic lid was on the Starbucks cup. She's grabbed the cup on the way to the mid-day meeting where they would start to put the show together, without thinking she went to take a sip and ended up with boiling coffee covering her favourite blouse. The first thought that went through her head was that it was from Saks and the coffee wasn't going to come out easily. And then the pain from scolding heat hit her.

She looked up to see Sloan smirking at her from the other side of the glass in the conference room. Typical that someone would see, thank God it wasn't Will, he used to have her life over her never checking them and then complaining about getting covered in coffee.

Pointing over to her office and holding up a finger, Sloan nodded back understanding that she'll be over as quick as she could. The blouse was gone; she was already starting to undo the buttons as she walked into her office. Throwing the silk material into the bin and then taking off the camisole under it that was covered in the liquid as well. At least it was something that could come out in the wash and if it didn't it only cost a few dollars.

"What are you doing, everyone is waiting for you?"

She should have known that if anyone was going to walk in without knocking it was going to be Will. He had no boundaries when it came to respecting privacy, or anyone's for that matter.

"Could you maybe knock next time?"

If it was anyone else she would be rushing to cover herself up, a part of her was telling her that she should and then she realized it was irrational, he had seen her with a lot less clothes and he used to have a habit of laying in bed and watch her get ready every morning.

"What happened?"

"I spilt coffee on myself, like normally I forgot to check if the lid was on."

"I wasn't on about that."

Mackenzie looked at him, her face screwing up in confusion, not registering that he was staring at the scar on her stomach.

"The scar."

Will seemed to sense her confusion and Mackenzie slowly nodded her head, she had gotten so used to seeing it now that it didn't register in her mind. Plus she expected that Charlie might have told him what happened to her over the years while he was explaining why Mackenzie was on the team. She also wanted to forget it; there were days when it seemed like it happened yesterday. She had never felt pain like it before; she could remember one of the female members of the team screaming before she collapsed. Over the years there had been moments when she feared for her life but never as much as she had in the moment. She thought that was it, yes it was dramatic but didn't most people think that when they were impaled with a blade.

"I was stabbed in a protest while in Islamabad."

She tried to act like it was nothing as she walked over to her cupboard and pulled out a spare shirt that she kept in it. You had to be prepared for anything. Just as she was about to pull it in, she gasped when she felt a cold hand against her waist.

"Let me look at it."

She knew better than to argue with Will against something, this felt like a situation where he wasn't going to squirm her way out of following his wishes. Letting her arms fall to her side, she picked a spot on her wall and stared at it as she felt one of Will's fingers trace over the wound. She didn't mind, she liked the slightly softer side of him but she hadn't had to deal with him touching bare skin like this since they were together.

"How many stitches?"

"About 15, it was deep. I was in hospital for a week and then got told to rest for another month. It still tugs at times when I forget it's there and try and stretch too far."

She pushed the limit as to what 'rest' meant, although she didn't put herself in dangerous situations, plus Jim wouldn't let her, she refused to twiddle her thumbs in bed.

"Mackenzie Mchale on bed rest? I would have paid to see that."

She wanted to make a comment about the amount of emails she sent him over those 5 weeks. Most of them made no sense and the ones in hospital had mostly been in a drug-induced haze, where she apologized and tried to explain what had happened with Brian. Mackenzie wasn't sure if she could ever really explain it to him but for those few days the drugs gave her some clarity she had never had before. But they did also give her dreams about jellyfish and hallucinations of rabbits hopping around the ward.

Mackenzie felt like she could breath properly when his hand moved away from her stomach, she pulled her shirt on and started working on the buttons.

"I didn't know."

She raised her eyebrow as she tilted her head to look up at him, her fingers momentarily stopping.

"It's not your fault. I thought Charlie might have told you but he obviously didn't. It's not a massive deal anyway, it's in the past, it happened and I can't change it."

"I didn't know."

God he was close, she could smell his aftershave, which he obviously hadn't changed for years. She could remember snuggling into his neck at night and still being able to smell it from his morning shave. The way the smell affected her after the Rudy stunt was something she didn't want to think about. She held onto him and let her mind go back to what they were and the painful thought of what they could have been. Would he have proposed like she expected him to? Would they have calmed down enough to have children and would Newsnight 174.0 gone ahead?

The rational part of her brain was screaming at her to take a step back, blind out of the daze that she was in but the proximity of him and the smell of his aftershave was becoming too much.

Fuck rationality.

Mackenzie took the last step and pressed her lips against his, her arms coming to wrap around his neck while his hands settled onto her hips. Within seconds his handed were already pulling her shirt apart again, his fingers desperate to touch any section of skin he could get his hands on.

Almost as if they knew what the other was thinking, Will went to push her against the desk as Mackenzie took a step backwards and towards it. As the back of her thighs came into contact with the solid wood, her hands blindly searched for any objects that were in the way and pushed them to the side.

"We're at work."

"That never stopped you before."

There lips hardly parted from each other, he knew her too well at times, the risk had been exciting but this was different.

"Never in the middle of the work day, it was normally after everyone left and we were still wrapping up before we…"

She shut up as soon as his thigh pressed between her legs; it had been too long since she had been intimate with a man. She wasn't interested in careless flings and the last man she slept with had been Wade.

"I thought so."

His hands were busying pushing her skirt up her legs while Mac's hands were interested in the button and fly on his pants.

"Mackenzie how much time does it take…" Both of them paused instantly as soon as they heard Sloan's voice, Will taking a step back but even to Sloan it had to be obvious what they had been up to.

"Carry on. I'll keep the rest distracted." Mackenzie didn't miss the smirk that was aimed at her direction from the other female before she walked back out of the room and seemed to make sure the door was firmly closed behind her.

"At least that wasn't Charlie."

She hit Will across the chest playfully but couldn't help but laugh at the crumpled mess that was his shirt and the way his trousers were hanging off his hips.

"We have to talk about this Will."

"We need to work."

Getting them to actually sit down and have a conversation about how they felt was close to impossibility; they would more than likely run a story on big foot first. Plus she knew that if they talked it would lead to them yelling at each other and everyone on the staff knew that none of the offices were soundproof.

Attempting to pull herself together and tuck her shirt back into her skirt, she looked at Will just as she was about to walk out of the office.

"We need to plan a show. We didn't save it just to fuck it up a few months later."

She walked out without another look back; she didn't miss the slight look confusion and worry on Sloan's face. As much as the younger female liked to act she was entirely oblivious to others emotions, Mackenzie knew she understood this.

Mackenzie swung side to side on her chair behind her desk as her hands played with a pen. The show had been, for the lack of a better phase, the biggest fuck up she ever witnessed in her life. Will and her and bickered like teenagers while planning the show, during the 6pm run through. The actual show ended up with her almost screaming at him through his earpiece, actually screaming at him during a 3 minute break and then walking out of the control room before the show actually finished. He obviously didn't want to listen to her and as much as she told him that he was hers for an hour every week night, tonight seemed to be some sort of exception. Jim had stood back refusing to say anything, Maggie looked like she was walking on egg shells and she didn't miss the looks Sloan directed at the camera as Mackenzie attempted to get Will to listen to her.

It was nights like this when she questioned her decision to take the stupid contract, or that he would just fire her one Friday night. He trusted the crew she brought with her for them to still have a job and maybe now someone would be interested in her.

"What are you still doing here?"

"What are you doing in my office?"

She had been too lost in her own thoughts to hear her door open, she had already rejected an invitation of drinks and Sloan took a bit longer than Maggie to take no for an answer, she didn't expect to see anyone. She didn't look at where Will had gone after the broadcast but she didn't expect him to stay long enough that the only real lights came from computers still left on and the odd over head light.

"Mac"

"No, shut up Will. You've acted like a pathetic child; you've gone back to what you were like when I started working here again. I expect your blackberry to be heading in the direction of the camera again. You listen to me for one hour, you went easy on Cain purely to piss me off but it's your reputation it damaged not mine."

"Mac."

"I'm not finished."

"You sounded like you were."

She was pretty sure if looks could kill he would be on the floor right now, taking his last few breaths.

"We got you a Tea Party member on for you, and you said you would stay away from bringing up his affairs and sexual harassment cases and it's the first thing you bring up. Fox, CNN, ABC and NSMBC are running with the same stories about him. I don't care if he cheated on his wife, I care about his policies."

Mackenzie felt her voice getting louder and louder as she spoke but it frustrated the life out of her. He had fucked the show over, what they had built the show around and telling the truth just to fuck her over or a random ratings grab. Cain was already a get never mind Will moving into the 'entertainment' side of the news.

"Can I talk or are you not finished?"

Throwing the pen straight at him before crossing her arms across her chest and leaning back in her chair as much as she could. Mackenzie kicked her heels off, the soles of her feet starting to pinch before crossing her legs and tapping the foot that was in the air as if to say 'I'm waiting Will McAvoy'.

"You're right."

Well those were two words she didn't expect to hear come from him, she was still confused over this mornings 'I didn't know' comment.

"Have you come down with something?"

"Knock it off Mac. I was pissed at Sloan and I couldn't take it out on her and you're always the easiest person to take it out on."

Well that wasn't a new statement; it summed up their relationship when they were dating the first time. The same day she had hired Don as an intern ended up in Mackenzie and Will fighting in the conference room. They took work issues out on each other but some how, as soon as they left the building it was easy to leave it behind.

"What, a case of blue balls as they call it?"

"How can you not send an email but know what blue balls are?"

"Most of the people on the tour were males, I heard that term a lot more than I wanted to."

Somehow both of them was the master at being able to steer the conversation away from whatever they were fighting about and onto a topic that was safe, or at least safer than what they had been arguing about.

"And sending emails with this work system is a lot more confusing than they let on, even more on a BlackBerry. I still don't know what it does other than text, send calls and emails."

No one had bothered with them when they were on tour since they didn't have the best signal and even previous to that, Mackenzie never really understood the fascination with cell phones.

"It doesn't matter Will. We'll go home, forget about it and start all over again, we'll can attempt to make up for your pitfalls tomorrow."

Pushing her chair away from her desk, she took her coat from the back of her chair and slipped it on. Taking her bag, she gave Will a small smile.

"You could have had him you know. He's one of the most deluded members of the Tea Party." She will admit that if needs be, she will use tonight over him for a few months until he decided to throw a tantrum and she can use that against him. "And don't be pissed off at Sloan, it wasn't a good idea anyway."

With that she went to walk out of her office door but Will was quick to block her exit. Without even taking a second to ask what he was doing, his lips descended on her. Mac remembered how much she hated that he was still her weakness, she tried not to let it interfere with work but it got in the way. She had been on a few dates and she would just sit there and compare them to Will and they all bored her intellect wise, they couldn't talk about things that interested her for long periods of time and even as a male they were interested in too much reality television.

"We can't. We won't talk about it, we don't do talking."

She pulled away to look up at him, her arms still down by her side, her hands turning white from holding onto the handle of her bag.

"Stop thinking for once, go with it."

"But I always have to be the rational one."

"Then don't."

Oh fuck it. Okay, she was thinking that too much today but why shouldn't she just go with it. Thinking about relationships and hurt was what caused them to fall apart last time. She over thought everything, was worried about everything that could go wrong and panicked about her own commitment issues, that to anyone with a degree in psychiatry that she was going to fuck up along the line.

This time she was the one that started the kiss, letting go of her handbag her hands quickly set to work on pulling at the buttons of Will's shirt while his hands were pulling her out of the waistband of her skirt. There was no co-ordination but everything seemed to flow, once one item of clothing was removed, they moved onto the next, their lips only parted when one of them felt the need to kiss another part of their body.

When Will had stripped her down to her underwear, the bright green set stood out against her pale and flushed skin, he took a step back to look at her. She felt a lot more self conscious than she had this morning, not that she had issues about her body, she weighed more when they were originally dating but it was the scares that she had collected over the years that were new, and not just the obvious one on her torso. There were smaller ones littered all over her body, his eyes didn't have to travel far before he found another injury. The reality of where she ran to sunk in, reporting about the war zones from the comfort of New York shielded you from the reality of the situation; but with Mackenzie stood in front of him it felt so real.

Mackenzie was getting restless, her thighs slightly rubbing together as she tried to deal with the ache in the pit of her stomach. But his eyes were trailing over her body, taking in every inch of skin as if he was editing the memory that he already had of it. Editing it to fit with the current model and look.

Reaching out to him, she tugged at the edge of his boxers that got his attention. A part of her wanted to say he could do that later but she didn't even know if they were going to have a later. Kissing him again, she slowly the pace down, back slowly towards her desk as he worked on unhooking her bra and slipping it off. Although there were issues with the desk, it was easier than having to negotiate a chair with wheels on it or one without cut out arm rests.

She didn't protest when his lips moved down her neck, her hands concentrating on pushing his boxers down his legs and then pushing her panties to the floor. His hands had hold of her waist as he pressed kiss against her skin, not settling on one place for longer than a few seconds. Mackenzie forced her eyes to stay open so she could watch every movement of his body and every look in his eyes. She needed to catalogue this, store it in the back of her memory because the last time they slept together; she didn't know it was going to be the last time.

"Will." She tugged at his arm to pull him back up to full height, tipped her head up to look at him, she leaned back against the desk. Everything else went on autopilot; one of her legs hooked against his waist and it didn't take long before she felt him slowly push inside of her.

Mackenzie couldn't help the gasp that came from the back of her mouth and the way her fingers tangled into the hair on the back of his neck. They both paused for a few seconds and she had to fight to keep her emotions under control, she could analyse everything later, look at the facts and attempt to turn it into her own personal news report.

With a soft nod of her head, Will started to move inside of her. Slow at first, but with a few flexes of her hips and pressing the heel of her foot into his skin, he sped up. The whimpers that came from the back of her mouth were an automatic reaction to every thrust within her, her hips meeting his each time. Her arms tightened around his shoulders when his hand moved from her waist to between her legs, rubbing painfully slow circles across her clit that pushed her closer and closer to the edge.

"It can't be a one time thing."

"Fucking hell Mac."

She knew it frustrated the life out of him, it was the only time she could get him to talk and he could still easily keep the pace. However, she wasn't oblivious to the added pressure he was putting on her clit.

"I'll shut up if you just tell me it's not a one time thing."

When he didn't answer, she purposely tightened her walls around him and she couldn't help but smirk at the groan that came from him in answer.

"Fuck, we'll talk about it."

She'll take that, kissing him again; she gave into the sensation of him, focusing on Will and nothing else. She struggled to breathe as her orgasm washed over her, trembling against Will as she held onto him as if her life depended on it.

When her breathing returned to normal, he speed up and it didn't take long for him to reach his climax. Mackenzie put her arms behind her to support their weight when he legs didn't seemed to do the job that she wanted them to do.

They stayed there for about a minute, neither of them moving or saying anything, not sure how they should react to the situation or what was the best way to part.

"Do you want to come around mine and we'll order a Chinese?"

Without saying a word, Mac slowly nodded before pressing a lingering kiss against his cheek.

It was a step in the right direction.


End file.
